Much needed discussion

Infertility- is woman sole reason? 

Infertility is the much-discussed topic so today I thought to weave my opinion and perception on this issue.  

Infertility can be simply defined as where a couple fails to conceive baby because of some internal, I mean some biological issue. Generally we called it ‘koi to kami hai’, many a time this ‘Koi kami’ happens to be in a woman only.

When a man woman marries, barely in one or two-year family members start asking them, ‘when you will give us grandchild’. I know people has much emotion attached towards grandchild so they keep asking. But many a time when a couple fails to conceive the whole family start blaming the woman.

I think we all are that much educated that we know a woman is always not a cause of infertility, man can also be the reason may be low or weak sperm count. But unfortunately, the whole responsibility is bang in the name of a woman. She is the reason, of infertility.

II have one friend who is married from the past 5 years. Her marriage was a love marriage. They fail to conceive in spite of numerous check-ups, medicine and what not! So without knowing the feeling of her daughter – in – law the Mother- in –law suggested her son to leave his wife and remarry. She has even forced her by so called promise. Here luckily, my friend’s husband told his mum that he is not going to leave his wife under any circumstances.

Another lady who is married for about 15 years doesn't have a child. Initially, her family tried to blame her for not having kids but later on they got found that the reason is the man, so they kept mum. What an irony! if a woman is a reason she would have shooed away from the house but if the man is reason woman have to advise to do not open her mouth about the ‘Kami’ in her man.

In the ancient era, the king has four to five queen where he would love more to that queen which has a son and least love to those who don’t have a child.  So no wonders! Why this rule is still followed by the people!

There was an elderly couple living in our area and they don’t have child. So once my dad asked to the uncle, ‘’what the reason you didn’t have child?’’  He said, ‘’my wife has some complication in uterus, doctor has advised if you’ll try for child you can lose her and we have to remove the uterus. So I told them I want my wife I don’t want kids.’’ He also said that his mother advised him to leave her and remarry but she chose his wife. This is the beautiful example and I always has best respect for him.

I think we need to educate the older people whose mind is still caged with the traditional practices. There is no shame if you can’t conceive, there could be problem. Yes! We all are not same.  I think the uncle who choose her wife over kids are the best example! If you are suffering from this situation and your in laws are blaming then you can simply tell them that all these things are natural. I am not responsible for this, you need to stand on what is right and what is wrong!

For men, who thinks that low sperm count will question to his masculinity are totally wrong. There are many reason which are responsible for this and it has nothing to do with your macho image.

Many a time woman cut our communication with society because she is always questioned why she is not having kids!  An ideal society is that which accept the weakness of people and motivate them to leave life fullest but India is somehow lacking behind this.

I think we should embrace such people motivate them that your life never ends on this, you have many more amazing things to do. It’s my request to the people out there if you can’t help anyone you don’t have right to pinpoint the pity of someone.  

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Rumour or conspiracy ?

Beef ban and Murder? 

You must have read the news of that a 50-year man in Dadri, UP got beaten up by the mob who think his family has consumed cow’s meat, in case if you are not aware from the case you may read it here.

 

From  the first day of the beef ban, there are many controversies are going on. Either it’s a man caught trafficking beef meat, losing their income at the mutton shop or banning beef on the auspicious days of Jain’s festival ‘Paryushan’.

In my personal opinion, not beef but slaughtering of each animal should be ban. But Yes! I know it could not be possible because there are many people who love eating meat. In fact, this is another topic to discuss!!

The death of 50-year-old man, Ikhlaq is really sad. Without knowing the actual reason mob attacked him and family.  There are many things coming up with this issue. His family claims that villagers use to say them Pakistani and gradually they took the revenge. The priest in temple claims that he was forced to announce that cow was a slaughter.  The cow is sacred for us, yes we worship them! But as we are living in a secular country we should respect each other’s religion. This is a matter of understanding and maturity, not a conflict. One should have a freedom to live as per their respective religion, after all it’s a secular country.

Even if they have consumed the cow’s meat, mob and people do not have any right to punish him. They should have contact to the authorities, the meat should have been checked and after that court decides to punish them or not. But I am sure this event will lead to various disturbance in the country.

Although I can’t judge this unfortunate event, there is a huge smell of POLITICAL conspiracy. The older people living in Dadri tells that ‘’ In this village the bond of Hindu- Muslim was very nice we use to support each other’s religion, each other’s culture. The youth should have developed the ability to see what is wrong and what is right? ‘’

Why are we human becoming so insensitive? Beating a 50-year-old man till death is a humanity? He was not eating cow's meat so, can you make him return? The people have murdered a man who was a father, son and husband.

 If you are the one who can do justice then what is the use of the law? This is a wake up to all of us! Open up your eyes, open up senses and most important open up your humanity! We are not a god to judge people. Just live and let live other!

Beggary- A profession or compulsion ?

Beggar, are they really? 

What do you feel when you see any beggar on the road, railway station or near the temple gate? You may feel like, how poor they are! Why is almighty god doing this to them? And you give some 1 or 2 rupees chillar and you move on to your work. But my point to write this article is are they really beggar or they are fooling us by showing their injured, dressed hand and feet?

I started work in somewhere in December 2013. And these two years one thing I neatly observed that beggars are not REALLY beggar!

Every day I have to struggle to reach the station, which is good 25 minutes away from home. In the midway, there is a tunnel (land owned by railway authorities for loco shed) and a temple of god Shani. I see approximately 10 beggars during my journey to the station. First four is near the temple and other 6 at the railway occupied land.

for representational purpose only

When I started working, I felt very bad for them, especially a lady, aged  45 to 50 year who has wound on hand and foot. I use to give her some chillar every day. This happens almost for three months. So one day I thought! Why her hand and feet has always wound, I thought three months span is good to heal wound, but why her wound never heals? When I look closer to her bandage wrap hand and feet then, I realize she is fit and she use to wrap dirty, bloody bandage to just astray the people. At that time, I was feeling like to slap her hard but I can’t. The funny thing is she still sit there to beg and she still has the same wound. I don’t think god has ever made such kind of wound which need 2.50 years to heal.

Another old woman and man use to beg there, both of them has no fingers on feet. So they literally keep their feet like you can see the wound. Okay! I give them money sometimes just because they are old and not because they are showing their wound.

From the last 2.50 years, the things which I've noted is that they all are a group and they use to sit as per their shift. In the one month, the woman does not beg for 15 days on this place (must be some other place).

for representational purpose only

One more incident occurred with me in the local train. The girl, perhaps 17 to 18-year-old was holding a newborn baby. I mean literally a ‘newborn baby’ having pink, layering skin. In my opinion, the baby seems to be born 4 to 5 hours ago. She was holding the baby in the dirty cloth and accompanied a little boy aged 5 years. She was begging, and the small innocent boy was also begging. The boy was looking like he has not slept from the last few days and he was falling on the seat due to sleep. So when the girl saw her sleeping she came and gave a tight slap to his chubby cheeks and like a robot the boy start begging again. I told her why you slapped him? But she simply ignore me and get off from the train.

In my opinion, the little boy may have been tortured. I feel my tears rolled down! Why people do this? Why they get doing all these things? Just money!

for representational purpose only

I've read somewhere that many of the beggars earns more than us! They also own flats and car. We all know there are many gangs who abduct child just to make them beg. They amputate their body part to make them look like handicapped and so that we can be pleased to give them money. They use newborn child on the daily rent merely 10 or 20 rupees!

I know there are many needy people who are waiting for our help, but we need to develop the ability who is actual and who is fake? And please never give money to a child NEVER!!! Instead, you can feed them. We all know this kind of illegal work will never be happen without the consent of police and authorities! I think we all need to change this and these will not going to happen with one person. We all have to refuse giving alms to the beggars. So gradually, this begging empire will collapse.

What would you say? 

No chamchagiri on our walls Please !!

Banners – City’s beauty ruiner 

Ganeshotsava has gone off! The celebration of 10 days was just beautiful. Many of the pandals are now getting off. I worked in Lalbaug area, which is ideally known for Lalbaugcha Raja. When you come out from the station, the first thing you will notice is the banner, the second thing you will notice is the banner and third thing you will notice is banner! Yes, you can see the BUNCH of banner of every small and big corporate, political party, personnel wishing you ‘Ganesh Chaturthi ki Shubkamnaye’.

Many of the places you can see approximately 20 banners putting in one line having the same ‘Shubkamna’. Oh gosh! Literally, Ganeshotsava is your political agenda to gather voters or you really want to wish people?  I really never understood this.

I think around one year ago, Mumbai Mirror has started one  campaign to stop all these illegal banner which was named as ‘No chamchagiri on our walls Please!!’ where they have published many of the photos where the illegal banner was placed.

There are many of the rules and regulation apt for the banner, but like other law it is also breaking.

It is not my duty to categorize which is a legal or illegal banner? But my point to say is why you need to put a banner for every micro and small things? If there is a birthday coming on of any dada or Bhai (we know who they are) each and every person come with a different banner. Sometimes it is so huge and consist photos of almost every person of that area. Why you can’t simply send a bouquet and card instead of doing chamchagiri on a public area?

Let’s talk about festival wishes. It’s good practice to wish people. But what people actually do is … Let’s take an example, Next festival is Navratri and in the next few days you will encounter huge banners wishing you ‘Navratri ki Shubkamnaye’. You will see only one line wishing you Navratri, and remaining space will be occupied with the huge photos of the well-wisher (many a time bigger than the Goddess Durga) and his/her political party. What an irony!  If you are wishing to people, you can simply put one line message and your name in small. But here things are opposite.

I know, technology has reduced the making charge of banners, but that doesn’t mean you should put it in every nook and hook of the city. The most awkward thing I found in banners is, the gold! People wearing gold more than Bappi Lahiri, Yes we know you have enough gold to fill a tijori but that doesn’t mean you need to show us. Another thing is White cloth! Yes we know you are a white collared person but please stop putting your large white cloth photo on a banner, literally I am just bucked up.

We Indians have Holi, Diwali, dusshera, eid, pongal and many other festivals. Let’s take 50 festival, and every corporate or political parties make one banner for each festival. 50*1= 50, fifty banners from one political party and we have numerous political leaders and parties. So now you can imagine how many banner we are surrounded by!!

In spite of wasting public money on this useless banner, you can utilize this money for making or repairing roads. We need open space, not the air choked by your useless banner. We don’t need your Political wishes, we have many of the friends and family who wish us, and this is enough!!! 

Why there is shame communicating in your native language/mother tongue?

How many of you know that 14 September is marked as ‘Hindi Divas’? Maybe you must have remembered this during school days because on that day you have to prepare speeches in Hindi. As now school are over then there is no reason to remember this day because you must have forgotten to speak Hindi in corporate offices.  Many of you will say why you are writing an article on mother tongue in English cause I know if I will write in Hindi then many of you will not understand the single word.

‘Please reply if you are fluent in English.’  ‘We want someone who is fluent in speaking as well as in written English.’ these two lines are irony for me! Yes being a Vernacular medium, I have to face much discrimination during the interview. One of the HR even told me that if you are from Hindi medium how you can be confident enough to write an error free English article? One said hmmm… you are from Hindi medium, we can’t hire you I am sorry as it is against our company policy. There is lots of another event which are enough to suck my confidant and my honest proud to stand first in my department. Not only job I've suffered from this discrimination in my first year of college too.

I know English is required and I must put enough strength to learn English but when I've learnt A, B, C, D in sixth standard then how can I able to compete convent, graduates?

I am not getting gaga over my situation and failure in life but many a time I feel disappointed that I do not consider as eligible because I cannot talk fluent English.

Another point to write this article is the slow death of Hindi and other native languages. Today most of the children are learning in English medium and Hindi is the second language for them. They can’t understand minor words in Hindi. They feel shame if their parents can’t talk in English. Yesterday my colleague was filling some government form where she can’t even able to understand the meaning of  'उत्पन्न' it means 'income' for those who don’t know what  'उत्पन्न is.  I know English is a must but my question is if we India are the origin of language and we have thousands of efficient language then why we are becoming a slave of a foreign language. Many of you will say that English is helping us to stand globally. Yes! I do agree but you can do this with your own language too. Japan educates to their students in Japanese language and is they are the third world country or globally recognized country?

I've heard most of the parents talking happily that my child do not understand Hindi and we don’t want to make them learn? If someone talks in their native language in train or bus people start to make a face. I've once asked to a one of my friend who was ultra-modern that do you know Bhojpuri she proudly said ‘NO! Who the hell will learn Bhojpuri, yuck? ’ I still remember her face.

This is the situation of the country where the youngsters are cutting off the roots of the prominent culture of the world and their mother tongue in the blind name of modernity. We've one professor in college who once sued a girl who said that she can’t speak her native language. What she said was one of best lesson in my life ‘It’s okay if you don’t know English, but it’s really shameful that you can’t speak your own mother tongue.’
 

By writing this article, I don’t have any intention to hurt anyone’s sentiments but I just want to convey to India that if you will respect your motherland and mother tongue then you can create a developed nation in real sense. 

Who gave you right to abandon a little life ?

On every next day, we must read news of ‘Newborn baby is dumped/abandon on the stairs of temple’ or most extreme ‘body of a newborn baby found in Nullah/gutter’.  All these news really make me sick. I personally can never hurt an animal or a child. This is the two recent news which makes me write this article, kindly go through with the links.

  http://www.mumbaimirror.com/mumbai/crime/Woman-dumps-premature-baby-in-drain-claims-it-was-stillborn/articleshow/48951745.cms

http://epaper.dnaindia.com/story.aspx?id=82543&boxid=30823&ed_date=2015-09-14&ed_code=820009&ed_page=5

In first news she dumped her premature baby in drain and claims, a baby was stillborn. She already repeated this brutal act in before. In the second news, a baby girl was dumped in the cemetery. These two are the recent case, and I am sure this would not be enough case. There are many newborns are abandon by their parents, but they are somehow not reported by media.

So my point to write this article is why human are so insensitive. Most of the babies are abandon because the couples are unmarried and they want to hide it from the so called society. My aunt told me one incident of her village where someone has dumped the little baby girl in a forest, assuring that some wild animal will going to eat her and they will get rid of this unwanted entity. The little angel was lucky to get noticed by villagers and later a couple from village legally adopted her and now she is living her life fully.

Okay, let’s talk clear! You start loving each other, get physical in spite knowing that this action will lead unwanted pregnancy, but you both enjoyed the moment without scaring the hell society.  The girl got pregnant, but you didn't take any prior action and when she gave birth you start making a plan to get rid of a baby. You have two option either to kill or to dump the little life to that place where he/she will naturally die because of hunger. Why? Because you want to show the society that you did nothing wrong and can live your life normally.

Do you know, when a baby grows in his/her mother’s womb he/she already start to feel the things. There is no other biggest sin then leaving a little precious life to get die because of cold, hunger. I think Animals are better than us, they care most for their children and we call as wisest species on earth do this kind of inhumanity?

If you are mature enough to love each other, then why you lack your knowledge to get any protection during the act. What I feel most devasting is how a girl/woman/lady gives permission to kill her own baby whom she has nurtured in her womb for about 9 months.  But this kind of insensitive people are just like evil they don’t have emotion, just go and ask to a couple who don’t have a child? They go to every temple, church, mosque every doctor, priest to just get one baby who can fulfil their life.  

Just one request If you have the power to give birth one life then you don’t have rights to take life of a little life…… mind it there is no other biggest sin than this !!!!! 

Life is the blessing of god please don't grab it from the newborns..., please !!!! They are the precious gift from god !!!!! Please take care of them !!!!

A Humble Request to SAVE WATER !!!!

Dear All,

As you know many of the fertilize areas of Maharashtra is becoming the victim of serious drought consecutively. Rains are also lacking, many of the areas do not have enough water to even drink. If you have 24 running water, then you will not realize the seriousness of this condition. We are not a god and not has any power to change the situation. So why not give your little contribute to saving water!    Please please follow some of the following measures to save water:

1) Stick a small label saying 'Save water' on every tap of your house, so that everyone will have to close the unnecessary opened the tap.

2) Don't bath from shower instead use bucket which can save lots of water.

3) Use a small glass to drink water so that you don't have to throw remaining water.

4) If water is 'Jhuta' then accumulate it in a separate vessel you can use this water in the wash room.

5) Repair all the leaking taps of your house.

6) Teach your children how water saving is importance for us?

7) Carry a water bottle with you and fill it when you end up the whole water. If you want to throw remaining water then put it in the roots of some trees.

8) You should definitely nag people who waste water.

9) Use vegetable washed water to water your home plant.

10) Don't keep the tap open unnecessarily.

11) Last but the least, Put a small vessel fill with water for little birds residing our locality.

Please if you are going to throw water, then imagine the situation of people who go miles to fetch just one vessel of water. If god has not punished you in that way, then it is our duty to save water and teach our children too.

Once again just imagine their situation and Save Water !!!

So this is my humble request to every citizen of India to SAVE WATER !!!

Hope you will do this.

Thanks  a lot :)