Monday 5 October 2015

Much needed discussion

Infertility- is woman sole reason? 

Infertility is the much-discussed topic so today I thought to weave my opinion and perception on this issue.  

Infertility can be simply defined as where a couple fails to conceive baby because of some internal, I mean some biological issue. Generally we called it ‘koi to kami hai’, many a time this ‘Koi kami’ happens to be in a woman only.

When a man woman marries, barely in one or two-year family members start asking them, ‘when you will give us grandchild’. I know people has much emotion attached towards grandchild so they keep asking. But many a time when a couple fails to conceive the whole family start blaming the woman.
I think we all are that much educated that we know a woman is always not a cause of infertility, man can also be the reason may be low or weak sperm count. But unfortunately, the whole responsibility is bang in the name of a woman. She is the reason, of infertility.

II have one friend who is married from the past 5 years. Her marriage was a love marriage. They fail to conceive in spite of numerous check-ups, medicine and what not! So without knowing the feeling of her daughter – in – law the Mother- in –law suggested her son to leave his wife and remarry. She has even forced her by so called promise. Here luckily, my friend’s husband told his mum that he is not going to leave his wife under any circumstances.

Another lady who is married for about 15 years doesn't have a child. Initially, her family tried to blame her for not having kids but later on they got found that the reason is the man, so they kept mum. What an irony! if a woman is a reason she would have shooed away from the house but if the man is reason woman have to advise to do not open her mouth about the ‘Kami’ in her man.

In the ancient era, the king has four to five queen where he would love more to that queen which has a son and least love to those who don’t have a child.  So no wonders! Why this rule is still followed by the people!

There was an elderly couple living in our area and they don’t have child. So once my dad asked to the uncle, ‘’what the reason you didn’t have child?’’  He said, ‘’my wife has some complication in uterus, doctor has advised if you’ll try for child you can lose her and we have to remove the uterus. So I told them I want my wife I don’t want kids.’’ He also said that his mother advised him to leave her and remarry but she chose his wife. This is the beautiful example and I always has best respect for him.

I think we need to educate the older people whose mind is still caged with the traditional practices. There is no shame if you can’t conceive, there could be problem. Yes! We all are not same.  I think the uncle who choose her wife over kids are the best example! If you are suffering from this situation and your in laws are blaming then you can simply tell them that all these things are natural. I am not responsible for this, you need to stand on what is right and what is wrong!

For men, who thinks that low sperm count will question to his masculinity are totally wrong. There are many reason which are responsible for this and it has nothing to do with your macho image.

Many a time woman cut our communication with society because she is always questioned why she is not having kids!  An ideal society is that which accept the weakness of people and motivate them to leave life fullest but India is somehow lacking behind this.

I think we should embrace such people motivate them that your life never ends on this, you have many more amazing things to do. It’s my request to the people out there if you can’t help anyone you don’t have right to pinpoint the pity of someone.  

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  1. Sheetal Maurya, this is a very important topic that you chose to write on. Many such things are still happening in our society although we claim it to a modern society. Not everywhere, but yes, women are still subjected to this emotional torture by many families if the couple can't conceive. And many a times people don't even bother to find out the reason and simply term the woman evil and infertile. For such couples, the best thing to do is adopt a child. Why can't we all think this way? By adopting a child, the child gets parents' love which they are deprived of. And even the couple would be happy to have a child. The thinking of the society needs to change!

    1. You are absolutely right Pooja yes! Adoption is great way to solve this problem but people have to think that way which can be happen gradually. Our perception need to be change. Thanks for reading and commenting :) :) It great to see your comment :)


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